This is an extremely special piece to me. It came from the heart.
A tribute….
To a loving brother who gave up his life and never fought for his right.
From Behna
I met him on a cheerful day at a volunteer briefing. We were just a carefree gang of boys and girls, but there was something different about the 18-year-old Fazil.
When I first met him, I didn't ask for his number. I actually took it from his friend and sent him a thank you message for being so sweet that day. He replied and from then onwards there was no turning back…
As time passed, Fazil and I became very close friends. He told me he had a sister with whom he was very close. His sister was about to get married, and he said that he would become lonely. I told him I never had a younger brother and thus we gladly adopted each other as bother and sister.
Whenever we went somewhere together, everybody heard me calling him 'bhai' and he would introduce me to everyone as his elder sister. When someone asked him once how many brothers and sisters he had, Fazil was like "Ummm….aaaaaa" and then he would look at me and respond, "Meray nau, is kay teen, total bara." He would always be there whenever I needed him, as a brother should be. I was always there for him, to cheer him up, to solve his problems and to hear him out. But life wasn't so easy after all.
Back at home, Fazil was encountering problems with his family. His family had issues with his being friends with girls. His family had issues with his guitar. They even had problems with his MP3 player, which was his only source of entertainment at home since there was no television there. He wanted to study; they wanted him to join the family business. His wearing jeans and t-shirt was becoming a problem as well. His family was against everything he wanted to do.
As far as I knew him, Fazil was the most religious 18-year-old I had ever seen. He was a practicing Muslim, literally! He was regular with his prayers, fasting and everything that was required of him. Unfortunately, his family never understood him.
He felt trapped within himself. With his friends, he used to laugh and share his problems. But a time came when all of us were targeted. I was the first one. Being a non-Muslim and two years older than him, my acquired brother's family kept torturing him not to meet me. Now he was alone in his house, he had no one to talk to. Fazil never told me exactly what his parents had said. He just told me his family didn't like his befriending girls. And so we stopped talking. Later on, I used to text him, but he never replied. I realised he had no one to talk to, so I told him to share anything with me whenever he felt the need to, but he didn't.
Months later, I heard he had started changing. He had stopped wearing western clothes and grown a beard. He would never look a girl in the eye. All that was commendable and religiously correct, but I knew; in fact, we all knew that that was not who Fazil really was. It was just what he was being pressurised to become. Lost in a personality crisis, Fazil was developing a dual personality. He hinted to a few people that he was confused and didn't know what to do. But they never knew what was about to happen.
Just this Eid he came to a friend's house and met her. After an hour-and-a-half of conversation, he said his goodbyes and left the house but came back again in and said: "Look, I'm deleting your number from my cell. Don't contact me again. You may not see me again, so please forgive me."
A few days ago, another friend of ours was passing by Fazil's house. He saw many people gathered there. He inquired about what had happened and was told that Fazil had expired! In a state of shock, he went to Fazil's house and found out what he was told was true.
"How?" he asked… "Brain hemorrhage." was the answer. "Fazil had been in hospital for the past few days and he expired this evening."
We all have something to say about Fazil. He will always remain in my heart and will always be my chotu bro, no matter what.
I request all the parents to develop an open relationship with their children. Children must be encouraged to express themselves. Parents need to understand that times are changing and all children cannot be treated the same way. If there is something you want your child to do, please discuss it with him/her. For, if your child is like Fazil, he will never say a word to you and you might feel you're doing him good. Understand the psychology of your child, for he is yours and you are his.
Fazil, I know you are up there, my sweet friend, and I know that you are in peace. You're looking from up there, smiling at me, and here I am singing your favourite song "He was born too late, to a world that never cared…" Sing with me, na. I miss you!
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